Heh. You ARE driving me crazy. Nah. Just a little. It's endearing and maddening -hence the crazyness- listening to you talk about so many things. Your 'finding yourself' before you are 'defined by others' is yet other of your constructions that seem to be oximoronic. You want to define yourself by doing things/acting the way/dressing the part/ other people do. You seem ill at ease with who you are and still comfortable with it. You want to change but you stop short of doing it because of other things (lack of money, hence the Sugar Daddy query, and wanting to change some things about your body but you love to munch away your favourite delicacies).
Besides, your 'extra time' is now spent with me -and I only fill in some of the 'hotness' checklist boxes you were describing- and you long for when you could do this on your own. You want a friendly ear but you want to be alone and enjoy your thoughts.
Who am I for you? I would go for the scratching post -I asked you and you gave me the standard 'it's way too convoluted' response- because I cannot find other explanations for your ... I don't even have a name for it: attachment? condescendence? curiosity? need? and I don't think I need them (either the explanations or the name) because I'm in this no-man's-land right now with my other relationship and that would drive me crazy(er). So I guess who I am at the moment does not matter that much. Does it?
Anyway, let's see what comes next. you said you're crushing hardcore -liked that- and think I don't mind playing your guide and help you adolesce by now. Let's just hope you don't prove to be the Antinoo to my Hadrian and dissappear all too soon, lost in your own river.
Yummy baby boy.
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