The Life and times of Nooneknew

Well, he's a man. I think some people would consider him more a boy than a man. But he's all man to me. You see, he let me share his body and part of his soul last weekend. It was kind of unexpected -never thought I could loosen up to that extent- very illuminating -I'm still alive- and lots of fun. 

Yeah. Sex for me has been returned to what it was: a fun, sweaty, exciting, exhilarating experience. This man/boy is like a live wire: he gives off energy, his libido is fun and fresh and has the most amazing mouth I've come across in a long time. And I'm not talking only about sex. You see, this man can think. He's terribly simple and absolutely complicated. He's one and several and self-contained and all over the place. All at the same time. And I find myself following really close. Like a moth to a flame. I think this whole embroglio is a combination of what could be a crush, a serius infatuation and a touch of adult longing. It's his amazing body and capacity to get excited and excite, his outlook to his life and his times and the intensity with which he's living. 

He does not stop a second. His mind is a dynamo and jumps from one thougth to another, from one idea to the other, from one topic to the other. I find myself actually realizing that I have to catch up with him. One second he's all teasing hands, sexy eyes and moist lips. The next he's all grown up, wondering about meanings and clues about and for a life that is starting right now. Yet right after that he's a teen all over again and he makes me laugh. Today he told me he misses his friend, this girl who made his life impossible and got to share his delicious body. He wants to have 'it all in one place', he says, like when they were together and his life was not scattered like he feels it is now. As his circle of friends has grown and his life becomes a kaleidoscope instead of a single ray. He wants to remain a boy and grow up. He wants to stay home but move out. He wants to have fun but have more money. 

He wants to remember every single detail of the movie with a soundtrack his life has become but he fears it's all going too fast, and that he is missing something. But who can think they can star in their own life and still be able to watch? Only the young, I guess. I have the strange feeling that I felt the same way. I think the idea of living in your head and ornating your experiences is something I can remember. Was it really all that time ago? On the other side, he still affects me the same way he did that first time I saw him in that meeting weeks ago. His smell still makes me dizzy, touching him when he's hard makes me weak and looking in his eyes makes me wanna kiss him. 

But I think I'm becoming more and more selfish. I actually want him to care about me. I want him to tell me things, to share with me more than that wonderful body. I want him to talk to me, too. But he won't. I feel like a scratching post to this wonderful kitty. And I have 'noonetoblame' but me. That should suck. Why don't I think so?

XOXO