Yesterday did not start like the best of days. I woke up with some kind of emotional hangover and went through the day at a sluggish pace. Fighting over nothing and exchanging barbed comments with him while sitting on a sofa in the living room. But I knew I wanted to see you. That kept me going.
I liked hearing your voice after your returned my call. I don't care if he knows somebody he doesn't know calls me. Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
We were both going to a party but we didn't know if it was the same. When I saw you drive right past me when I was parking last night and it felt good. You see? I can pick your little car among ten million boring cars. It's like you: unique.
Then you and Michael came over to where I was. Michael all bravado and pose, you, looking at the ground. Were you happy to see me? It seems you were. You looked at me across that crowded little room and signaled. I'm beginning to 'get' your gestures. You wanted liquor. I got it for you. You drank three malt liquor bottles while I finished a Cherry Coke. Encouraged by Michael, of course.
Then you were all mellow.
All big eyes and moist lips. All sensual limbs and malleable body. We held hands and kissed on that sofa.
Then we went to that bar and the night became a blur of long kisses and good conversation. Was it the liquor? Was it that I am getting somewhere with you? I don't think I care. I was happy. I got to have you all for me for awhile. And your attention was mine. And your body -what I could have in public- too.
You said our age difference only matters to you when we are not alone. What does that mean? I have to find out.
Is it because you feel I have lived too much? Because you've lived too little? Your desire to feel/know/find things is refreshing. I'm seeing things with your eyes -getting stoned for the first time, making friends from acquaintances- and it's all new all over.
You said you wanted to be with me. My heart beat faster. It's what I've been wanting all along. Hopefully, we'll be able to take a few hours out of our hectic schedules to be together. Go work out, go make love, just go and be.
I want to be with you and know you. Biblically speaking. Get to memorize your every corner. I want to have you like I had you in that hotel room two weeks ago, like I had you on that sofa and on that dance floor in that club: relaxed, sensual, giving in to the passion you felt. Making me feel alive.
Yummy baby boy.
XOXO
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